a mix

my heart is unfocused. a mix of gratitude & grief. maybe this is life. crumpled paper, wet with tears, to write on. my people on the news. my faucet running water. the pang of consciousness. the way the sun streams in. a tangerine glow on wooden floors. a healing tooth that aches. the music that held me in new orleans. the rejection letter i haven't yet burned. the check i didn't expect. the plane ride i survived. the altar reminding. the haunt. the nasty habit called hope.